Reading time: 4 – 7 minutes

A co-worker has cancer. What will they do? What do you do? It is definitely an awkward moment for many people.

I was talking with a Sales Manager on the phone. One of his employees has cancer. As the employee shares his condition with his boss, he clearly states, “I don’t want there to be an elephant in the room with my co-workers. I don’t want them to talk about it behind my back. I want them to talk to me about it openly.”

Not everyone feels the same way.

Some people want to talk about it; others may want to avoid the conversation at work; opting for more privacy. They may fear their co-workers will see them differently. It is a personal choice, and the only way to honor their choice is for someone to ask them what they want or wait until they are ready to share their condition.

What Does the Employee Do?

The first decision is who should know? It is important to share your condition with your boss for a number of reasons. It is better to have the conversation at the onset, rather than when the boss begins to notice a pattern of absences or decline in work productivity.

The organization will be better prepared to understand why you are missing work because of appointments or ill effects of your treatment. Employee centric companies will voluntarily make accommodations for you.

Most employers are bound to protect your legal rights – for both you and your family members. Visit the U.S. Department of Labor Website for information on the Family and Medical Leave Act.

Initially, your boss may suggest you tell co-workers who are working on projects with you. Your absences may affect the time lines of projects. Letting them make contingency plans or push out due dates will show you are working together as a team.

Some of your co-workers may feel uncomfortable hearing all the details. When in doubt, ask them how much information they want you to share with them. If they are not sure, make it OK for them to tell you they have heard enough or figure out a secret code that lets them tell you they have absorbed all they can.

What if I am the Boss?

As the boss, your staff will be looking to you to provide guidance, sensitivity and concern. At the first hint of absentee patterns, you should be talking to your employee. While you should not force an employee to share their condition, having a conversation where you show concern may open the door for the employee to share their situation more readily.

If the employee is not ready to share information, you will likely treat the absenteeism as a controllable event and that the employee is being irresponsible. Often, this kind of behavior leads to disciplinary action.

If your gut tells you something is going on with the employee and they are reluctant to talk with you; ask them if they want to talk with the Human Resources Department – they may be better able to assist them on a confidential basis. Some companies have Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) in place to help employees with difficult situations by talking to trained professionals outside the organization.

Learn more What Supervisors Can Do from the American Cancer Association.

What if I am the Co-Worker?

There are a number of ways to acknowledge that someone has an illness. News like this travels quickly in organizations and sometimes the employee would rather let the grapevine inform their co-workers instead of talking to each one of them directly. If you hear about something this way, ask if the information is public knowledge – sometimes the grapevine can be more hurtful than helpful.

If you are close to them, they probably will share the information with you. However, if you learn about someone’s illness from the grapevine, don’t take it personally.

Initiating a conversation with someone based on grapevine information requires sensitivity and respect. Let them know you have heard they are experiencing some health issues (details are not necessary) and you are there to be supportive. Now is not the time to pry. Let them open up to you when they are ready to. They might never be…if so, just respect and accept their privacy.

If the illness is common knowledge and you do not know the person well, but are in the same work group, consider a hand written card or note to leave on their desk. Keep it simple, again offering words of concern, support and encouragement.

Avoid telling the person you know how they feel. They will never think you understand, because you are not them in that situation. If you have been through a similar situation, you can share your feelings about how you felt. The best thing to do is to listen and acknowledge their situation. Let them know you want them to get better. You can find more information on talking with someone who has cancer at Cancer.net.

Lynn Dessert owns Leadership Breakthrough, improving personal communication and influence one step at a time. Post your thoughts or email me!

Reading time: 4 – 6 minutes

Friend or foe, which is a better choice for someone on your team? It might be your foe according to Robert Greene who wrote The 48 Laws of Power.

Law 2: Never put too much trust in friends, learn how to use enemies

Be wary of friends – they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.

Robert Greene

Sometimes, there is a reason why people keep friendships and work separate. How well do you think you know your friend? It is kind of odd, but I find people are more willing to share their inner most secrets or insecurities with strangers than their friend – especially when it may be something used against them. There seems to be comfort in placing some distance with between you and your friends.

Let’s take this example. A friend comes to you for a favor. A position opens up at your office and they ask for your recommendation and support. When you first think about the situation, you believe it could be very beneficial for you to hire them. To gain an ally on your team will strengthen your position of power in the company, especially in a swing vote decision. There is one small problem – your friend is less qualified for the job than someone internally. Should you hire your friend – after all, they will cover your back. Is that more important?

You decide to hire your friend and they mess up at work. How quickly do you take action? What is the approach you take with your friend – is it the same as a colleague? You discuss the situation with them. Does your friend play the “friend card”? Do you feel guilty?

If you decide to soft peddle your approach, do you think your friend realizes the impact of their actions. Is it possible your friend believes they have skirted the issue because you are watching out for them? And what do you do when there is a repeat performance? Does that put you in a more difficult position?

Your lack of forthrightness may work to your disadvantage. It is tough to deliver negative feedback to a friend. You may think your relationship with them outside of work might falter. If another situation arises, the tendency will be to swing the pendulum to either side – more lenient or taking the big hammer approach to solve the problem. In either scenario, your friend is likely to lose loyalty with you. As you become more lenient, your friend may believe they have more rights, which can lead to perceived favoritism. Your staff will become resentful. If the approach is more punitive, they will question why they have lost your support and may retract it with you.

It seems like a lot of things to think about.

In the second situation, the internal person applying to the position is one of your nemeses. You have butt heads with them a number of times on projects. They have the qualifications for the position and you wonder why they would consider working for you. It is not obvious to you to take them on as an employee. Here are some reasons to ponder:

1. Giving someone a chance to someone who is the underdog often brings out the “I’ll show them I am the best person” attitude. That’s a win-win for the employee and manager.
2. You are more likely to get candid feedback from your foe than your friend. The threat of damaging a personal relationship is not an issue.
3. Your foe will appreciate your support more than your friend. The friend expects it, the foe respects gaining it.
4. Skills will outperform “watching the bosses back” over time.
5. The sweetest victory is winning over an enemy.

So, is it impossible to have your friend on your team? I believe it is possible, just not probable. It requires a fundamental understanding of the differences and balances of power in the relationship – in and outside of work. That separation is difficult to manage effectively and takes tremendous effort and energy to be successful. Most bosses have too many other things to focus on than to preserve a friendship while making difficult decisions at work. What are your experiences?

Lynn Dessert owns Leadership Breakthrough, improving personal communication and influence one step at a time. Post your thoughts or email me!

Reading time: 5 – 8 minutes

Are too many ideas killing your innovation? How can having too many ideas be bad for your new product success; sounds counterintuitive doesn’t it? Well, the problem isn’t actually the number of ideas generated. The problem is allowing too many of them into the product development process at the same time. Previously, I’ve written about how multi-tasking hurts individual productivity. In this issue, I’ll show you how hedging your bets across too many projects creates unnecessary delays in cash flow and actually increases your risk. I’ll also share an approach that you can use to manage your pipeline.

Let’s start with an example:

• We have 2 new product ideas
• Both can generate $1 million a year in cash flow
• They have an equal probability of success
• Each idea will require the efforts of 10 people for six months (60 work months)
• We have 10 people available to work on these projects

How should we prioritize our resources for these projects? Frequently we compromise and put five people on each of them. Let’s compare two scenarios to see why there’s a better way.

Scenario 1 – We compromise and split the effort so that we can do both at the same timely. For now, we’ll ignore any shared resource constraints that might actually overlap and result in the two projects taking longer. With five people working on each idea, both programs are completed and ready for market launch at the end of 12 months.

Scenario 2 – Alternatively, in a focused, sequential approach, we put all 10 available people on Project A and are able to launch in six months. It’s possible that we could finish even sooner since individual productivity increases when we eliminate multi-tasking; we’ll ignore that for the time being. After finishing Project A at the end of the first six months, the team then moves over and spends the next six months on Project B. It’s ready for market launch at the end of the twelfth month.

So what’s the difference? It still takes twelve months to finish the two projects.

The important difference is that in a focused approach, one product launches six months earlier and generates an extra $500,000 during that period. That’s half the time that it would have taken in Scenario 1, without any delay on the second project. On average, our two projects get to market in nine months. That’s a 25% improvement in time to market with no additional resources or costs and an increase in cash flow. However, most companies try to run far more than two projects at the same time. Make this same comparison with 5 projects and you are close in on a 50% reduction in time to market (18 months vs. 30 months) not to mention the boost in early cash flow. One industrial products client that tried this approach moved from 25 projects down to five projects. As a result, they reduced project cycle time from 36 months down to less than a year: more than a 65% reduction in time to launch with no additional resources.

One of the biggest concerns I hear when discussing this approach with management teams is risk management. “We can’t put all of our eggs in one basket.” In fact, a more sequential, focused approach reduces risk. Getting some projects done sooner reduces the market risk of competitors getting to market first. Additionally, delaying the commitment point on the next opportunity adds flexibility. In our example, if the market for Project B were to erode before we finished Project A, we could move to Project C. In this case, the sequential approach saves us from working on a troubled project by allowing us to reprioritize based on the latest and best information. This leads me to an important tool that you’ll need to implement this approach: the idea bucket.

In order to effectively maximize the flow through your new product development pipeline, you need to keep a prioritized bucket of new product ideas and opportunities. Making decisions like this can be difficult. People worry that good ideas will be forgotten when you narrow your focus to fewer projects. That’s where the idea bucket comes in to play. It collects every new product idea so that they can be evaluated against success criteria, and ranked by a cross-functional leadership team.

Using a baseball analogy, the idea bucket separates opportunities into four categories:

1. Rookies – All ideas enter at this stage. An opportunity evaluation team assesses them for strategic fit and commercial, technical and manufacturing feasibility. After assessment, they are either sent back for rework or are put in the batting order.
2. Batting Lineup - You assess, rank and place projects into a prioritized order. However, unlike baseball, you can revise the batting order to reflect the latest conditions.
3. On Deck Circle - The next project you will start when resources become available.
4. Not Ready for the Majors - Some ideas just don’t fit with the company’s current strategy or business environment and don’t warrant re-work. Since we want to encourage new ideas, we archive the less qualified ideas so that we can revisit them if changes warrant.

Of course, you also need to communicate these priorities so that folks in your organization know the ever-evolving priorities. If you run a larger company, your corporate intranet can host collaboration software where your people can submit project ideas and you can communicate project status. If you are a smaller company, consider low cost or free collaboration tools like Google Apps. These allow you to set up password protected, intranet type websites where your team can submit, view, contribute and even help prioritize new product ideas.

The More Impact Bottom Line

Letting too many good ideas into your new product process at the same time has just the opposite effect that you would hope. It slows time to market and increases new product risk. Instead, focusing your resources on fewer projects sequentially, rather than more projects simultaneously, results in earlier cash flow while still completing all projects in the same time. Additionally, it increases flexibility and reduces risk since you can delay making resource commitments for the later projects. A prioritized idea bucket helps manage your pipeline to ensure a continued flow of new opportunities.

Michael Dalton is the Managing Director and Principal Consultant with Guided Innovation Group.

Reading time: 3 – 4 minutes

Please stop the finger pointing. It hurts creditability. And I hate canned answers. OK – now the details.

I use LinkedIn (their blog here) to build new relationships and maintain old ones. It is one venue I use to increase visibility to be a thought provoker or leader and sometimes is in the form of a post from my blog. The Group forum is a place to share your views and to comment on other contributor’s insights, struggles and successes. People do this to build creditability and seek answers. Over the last few months, I have posted a couple of blog posts that I thought might appeal to groups I belong to, they are:

What are the Differences between a Coach, Mentor or Confident?

• Need a Coach? Do you Know What to Expect?
• Is Your Mentor Relationship Rock Solid?
• Your Confident: Trustworthy…for How Long?

Great Mentors Find the Unobvious

About a week ago, I receive an email from LinkedIn informing me that a member or manager of  the group moved my discussion to the Jobs section. If I believe this action is an error, I am to contact my group manager have it moved back.

I write to the group manager to tell her about my problem and asked her to correct it. Having direct access to people is a major benefit of the LinkedIn group membership. The only other way to contact her would be through a mutual connection or by paying for a higher level of service. I hear back from her within five minutes. I am impressed with how quickly she responds.

Unfortunately, she says she does not have control over the movement of my discussion posts. LinkedIn is supposedly doing it based on key words. This appears to be a repeat problem and asks me to contact LinkedIn. At this point, I am thinking someone at least cares, but is not able to fix it. So I am off to find the right person.

As I outline my letter once again to LinkedIn, they try to direct me to their canned Questions & Answers reiterating that my group manager is responsible for correcting post movements. Confident that I have covered this base, I hit the SEND button. I decide to modify my letter – asking them if anyone reads the posts before they move them. It is obvious I am not looking for a job nor am I looking for employees. I know, pointing out their flaws might not help me.

The letter I receive back again directs me to my group manager, again. I wonder if anyone ever reads the letters we send in -  it is obvious my questions are not answered.

Once again, I contact the group manager. No response this time.

Now I am at a stand still. No one wants to be accountable for 1) doing it or 2) correcting the situation. And we wonder why our customers or employees lose confidence in us.

Issues to discuss? Stories to Share? Post your thoughts or email me!

Reading time: 4 – 6 minutes

Want to create a better environment for innovation: Get out of yours and into theirs

I had an interesting discussion recently with a company vice-president about the role of facilities design in innovation. He asked me what he could do in terms of layout and aesthetics to make the work environment more conducive to innovation. Anyone familiar with my Theory of Constraints (TOC) based approach to innovation improvement will know that my response was to ask him what constraint he thought was holding back his organization’s innovation throughput.

He pondered my question for a second or two and replied, “I guess I’d have to say that it’s finding more impactful new product ideas.”

That made my response simple. “Then if you want to create a better environment for innovation, get out of yours and into theirs.”

He stared at me with a puzzled look for a moment and then smiled. “So you’re saying that the internal stuff isn’t where I should focus.”

“Well, one of the most impactful things a manager can do is to keep their organization focused on high leverage activities. You have to decide where the focus needs to be for your organization. But I would have to wonder if internal facilities are really your biggest problem.”

Of course, it’s the era of design. So I don’t mean to completely dismiss the role that the physical environment and culture can play in fostering creativity. If you’re putting up a new building, it’s probably worth considering. Having worked both where R&D and marketing were located in separate buildings and where they were co-located, I can say that locating them together definitely helps people interact and problem solve more easily. Similarly, I’ve worked in some cutting-edge facilities from a design and aesthetic view. Who could argue against having views that inspire, lots of open spaces, and ample team meeting areas?

But for most companies, it’s really missing the point to make the R&D and office work environment the focus of your innovation improvement efforts. Instead, the important thing is to get people out of the office more often to visit customers and end users in their work environments. That’s where the actual problems exist and where the real inspiration for new products will come from!

The best new products solve customers’ problems by simplifying or eliminating costly, difficult, time consuming, or unpleasant tasks. These kinds of ideas aren’t likely to come to your people while they’re in the office. These problems live out in the market. An entire discipline of ethnographic research has grown out of watching users in action to identify these problem tasks. When researchers see these problems firsthand, they get additional insights into the problem that lead to a better solution.

The 3M Post-it is a great example of the how getting out of the office can help create great new product ideas. 3M Scientist, Art Fry, was a singer in his church choir and was frustrated when the little bits of paper he used to mark pages kept falling out of the hymnal. Unfortunately, he couldn’t use any of 3M’s tape products because that would have torn the pages. Fry invented Post-its when he recalled the poor adhesive one of his colleagues had accidentally cooked up and began using it to make his hymnal markers easily removable.

Customer focused innovation works best when researchers can get out and see the problems firsthand. When SC Johnson researchers observed consumers problems with cleaning the shower, they invented the Scrubbing Bubbles automated shower cleaner as a way to simplify the job. Push the button on your way out of the shower and it keeps the shower clean for you. Sometimes it takes development people with a strong understanding of the technology to see the customers’ problem and at the same time envision how they can solve it.

Many companies will struggle with this advice because they leave the customer interaction to sales and marketing. But limiting your R&D group to work on the ideas that others bring in is like asking them to work with part of their brain tied behind their back. Often, these companies come to me saying that they have plenty of ideas, but they just aren’t seeing the results they had hoped for out of new products. Well, it’s no wonder. Most sales and marketing people focus on selling what’s available today. Occasionally they look for opportunities to tweak or customize products. That can create new business but rarely results in high growth new products.

The More Impact Bottom Line:
Work environment can play a role in innovation and creativity. However, most companies would do better to focus externally on the customers work environment. That’s where the problems are. If you can connect your development with those problems, that’s also where you’ll see the most new product impact.

Copyright 2009. Guided Innovation Group LLC and Mike Dalton. All rights reserved.

Reading time: 3 – 4 minutes

Calling all mentors to look for what is not obvious. It is easy to spot someone who is already on a high potential list or finds the right forum to showcase their talent. It is much more difficult to find the person who is still under the radar.

Penelope Trunk’s post, Career Lessons from Susan Boyle, talks about an individual’s responsibility to showcase their talent. She’s right that once a mentor finds you, the joy of helping to shape another person’s career is exhilarating.

Let’s take the Susan Boyle case. Her singing capabilities are astounding, and anyone with a brain is stepping in the line to mentor or sponsor her. She took the initiative to share her talent, for whatever reason. I have to think though – what about the people who are not as willing to take the risk?

As I watch her first performance, what is so appealing about her is she did not realize her level of talent. Here is a frumpy older woman who lives modestly at best, with her unkempt wild hair and an amazing voice. As she begins to walk off the stage after her stellar performance, the judges clamor for her to return center stage. The tentative look in her face is telling- oh no, what are they going to tell me now. The raw innocence is apparent. Her talent is not obvious to her.

The transformation she makes with outside mentors is clearly evident. The semi-finalist performance, shows Susan’s rough edges are now smoother. They are have not over done it, see her make over here.  Her appearance is not what you take notice of…the focus is on her gift. We are also not in a juxtaposition…. the shock factor is gone. If she were to walk into a meeting, we’d readily accept her and listen to her.

Mentors who latch on to the obvious are missing the opportunity to discover raw talent. Companies often focus on who’s coming in the door, especially new recruits out of college. They are willing to accept the unknown rather than the known. They forget to look in their own backyard – current employees they have in their workforce.

Not everyone has the confidence to showcase their talents. Or sometimes, they have the talent, and they just don’t dress the part or may be a little rough around the edges. Management may have already labeled the individual as not high potential – because of “surface” flaws. It in effect, severely limits their efforts to shepard and grow talent from within.

Tomorrow, I’ll share my personal experience.

Issues to discuss? Stories to Share? Post your thoughts or email me!

Reading time: 4 – 6 minutes

Mentor, coach or confidante – it can get a bit confusing with all these terms – is there a big difference in the relationships. Last week, we discussed the role of the coach or mentor, today we will talk about the role of a confidante. There are several factors to help you decide if you have someone trustworthy or are being a good confidante to someone else.

A confidant is someone who you entrust with your private information. The relationship may be personal or work related. Some confidantes are professional in nature – your doctor, counselor, priest, lawyer or psychiatrist. Experts deal with sensitive information routinely; with ethically or professionally boundaries to keep your information private.

Selecting another individual to be your confidante is a serious decision for you; it is a sign of your trust in them. Unlike a coach or mentor, a confidante can also be a co-worker or outside peer relationship. Their level of accountability to you is driven by their personal values. Their role may be to listen, provide advice or act on your behalf. Are they someone who will protect your privacy forever? It is up to you to define the relationship with them. If you assume, chances are your needs will not be met and you may get hurt in the process.

Once you share information, ultimately, whether it stays with a confidante or is passes to someone else is out of your control.

Assessing how reliable someone is – takes time and experience. Rarely, do we know someone is trustworthy upon our first meeting. Observe what someone does with the information you share. For example:

• Do they say they will keep your information secret, yet infuse it in the rumor mill?
• Have you seen them share other people’s private information?
• Do they say “I am not suppose to share this but….” or “I know I can trust you with this…”
• Do they use information to benefit themselves?
• Does this person hold “power” in the organization, knowing the latest gossip?

If so, your secrets may be too tempting to keep private. Another litmus test: if you were to leave the company, would your confidante share your information after your departure with management or other employees? If so, the relationship may not be as solid as you might think. Remember – information is power and you are giving access to your golden key.

If you want to test someone on whether or not they can hold your confidential information, here are a couple of ways to do it:

1. Share something with them that is personal, and at the same time you don’t mind if it gets out in the rumor mill
2. Make up something which does not hurt anyone and might be of interest to the office grapevine

Wait to see if what you shared or some form of it appears in general discussion. If so, re-evaluate your opinion of how trustworthy confidant is with you.

Beware of the phone call you receive from someone who wants to share the “dirt” on other people in the organization. It is a ploy or tactic for gaining your trust. You may initially think – if they share this information, you must be a close friend or confidante to them. WRONG. It is an attempt to gain your trust so that you will voice your opinion on the subject. Invariably, your comments will provide them new content for their next call. Ask yourself, who does this call benefit?

There is a caveat to confidentiality. If the information you or someone else shares is illegal or may harm someone, the likelihood a confidante will not keep the secret. Let’s take an example in the workplace. An employee shares with a confidante that another employee is sexually harassing them. The employee does not know where to turn, so believes they can trust someone who might understand or sympathize what is happening to them.

Most employers have very clear guidelines for employees and supervisors who learn about or are experiencing this situation. The Labor and Employment Law Blog shares a wealth of information on this topic and addresses the lines of confidentiality in Harassment Allegation Confidentiality – Some Considerations for Employers. The reality is withholding this information can be not only personally damaging, but ethically or legally challenging.

Having a confidante is a great benefit when the relationship is productive and supportive. Build your alliances slowly and reap the rewards of trusting relationships. Try to reciprocate the favor.

Lynn Dessert owns Leadership Breakthrough, improving personal communication and influence one-step at a time. Post your thoughts or email me!

Reading time: 4 – 6 minutes

Are you a better talker or listener? Bosses and managers often believe if they are in control of their employees and tell them what to do everything will run smoothly. Employees can sit next to one another and still fail to communicate well. Placing sole emphasis on your speaking capabilities can build a false sense of how well you are doing as a leader or co-worker. Consider the other side to the equation- good listening. Be wary of the boss or employee who fails to listen – it is one of the root causes failing to perform to the best of your abilities.

Listening is powerful; it allows you to discover clues about yourself, others and your environment. It may provide some warning signs; which may be overt or subvert in nature. Speaking in “code” is more commonplace than you expect. If you hear phrases in your organization to describe certain actions, behaviors or people, chances are it is “code”. Terms have many meanings - take the time to understand the face value and underlying meanings.

So, how do you really see those warning signs when you are in the middle of a conversation? Do you find yourself doing some of these bad listening behaviors?

• It is more important for you to be formulating your next thought than listening to your audience. Chances are you are missing some important information they are conveying to you. Try to keep the focus on the current topic.
• You have already made up your mind on the subject. At this point, why even pretend to listen? I’ll bet the other person has already pegged you as being stubborn and closed-minded. One of the ways this often comes across is if you are being asked to reconsider a decision and you give them an answer immediately. Let some time pass before giving them your answer so they know you have taken their perspective in account with consideration.
• Been there, done that. How many times do you go into a routine meeting – a well-oiled subject, only with different people? The tendency is discount the conversation. Next time you find yourself thinking you’ve been there, done that, turn it into a challenge. Listen intently to see if you can find a new kernel of wisdom or  idea instead of lending a deaf ear.
• Your speaker lacks creditability. If you have already formed an opinion on the speaker, the likelihood of listening well is very low. Discounting can take the form of criticizing simple things such as clothing, looks or even voice. It is more important to focus on the message than the deliverer.
• Failure to ask questions. They may think of you as someone who knows all or is not interested in the topic. Even if you believe you know what the speaker is trying to say, paraphrase it back to ensure understanding. Let yourself dig deeper into subject by asking probing questions. Learn about their intent or clarify their thought process – it will provide valuable insight into how they make decisions and why they act the way they do. Curiosity will play to your strength.
• Allowing other distractions to interfere with your attention. Keeping your attention to the speaker will increase your ability to listen effectively. Leave your multitasking skills or daydreaming for another time. Kathy Sierra article on Your Brain on Multitasking, challenges the notion that we can do two different activities well at the same time. Active listening requires you to place full attention on the speaker.
• Listening can extend beyond the words. Watch the speaker while they speak. You will learn more about their topic by paying attention to what they say (meaning), how they say it (intonation) and if, in person, their body language.
• Your body language is screaming “I am bored” and I am disinterested. Your speaker will react more positively if you are able to give them some encouragement. Reinforce their message by acknowledging points by nodding your head or leaning slightly forward to them. Try not to interrupt their message with your counter points; however if you agree with something a quick “yes”, “I agree”, “I understand” or “I see” is acceptable.
• Failure to give feedback to the speaker. People often have difficulty providing personal or contentious feedback to others. Consider using stories or examples as an easier way to convey your personal message. This method allows you to depersonalize the feedback by talking about a situation rather than the speaker.

In summary, listening is a skill which may be learned and to perfect it requires practice…and practice.

Issues to discuss? Stories to Share? Post your thoughts or email me.

Reading time: 3 – 4 minutes

How does your check list stack up to this one? If your boss is not a wimp, they may use some of these criteria when assessing performance in their organization.

• Quality of Work. Some job outputs require a minimum standard to pass inspections or other standardized tests. If the manager is the sole evaluator, it become more subjective, and may vary between reviewers. How do you standardize quality given different levels of expectations between managers?
• Quantity of Work. Sometimes quantity is more important. If there is automation, it may be run time. There may be balanced score card goals such as making 80 calls a day in sales, regardless of the outcome. Learn why some of it not work from “The Unfulfilled Promise of the Balanced Scorecard. Why? At what level does quality and quantity produce negative affects?
• Relationships with Clients. Your client may be internal or external. In either case, they are the people you provide some level of service to or input into their job.
• Relationships with Co-Workers. Having strong relationships with people who may call upon you occasionally let’s you get things done more efficiently. Is there a strong investment in creating good partnerships, or is all party time talk.
• Network Relationship Skills. Do you have a strong network of peers outside your organization who you can call upon for advice? They may be in your industry or outside; either way having access to current and relevant information will increase your internal marketability and worth.
• Mentors Others. Is your job all about you, or do you offer your wisdom and hard earned lessons to the up and coming stars? How frequently do you meet with individuals? Are you sought out by others because you share freely?
• Problem-Solving. Are you able to assess a situation clearly and generate a number of different solutions? How are you at doing the… “what ifs”? Are you able to solve simple and complex problems?
• Decision-making. Can you make a decision? How long does it take to make a decision? Who do you involve in the decision making process? Are there different levels of decision making criteria you use? Are you decisions the right ones?
• Budget Friendly. Are you able to produce a realistic budget? Are you able to keep the budget intact while deliver the results of your project or group?
• Meets Deadlines. Are you good at preparing and following a schedule? Do you meet internal department requests with ease? Is your external customer happy with your response rate to them?
• Technical Know How. Does your position require specific training or certifications? How do you apply it?
• Initiative. Do you ask for projects or wait to be asked? Do you perform only the task that are required or do you assist the manager or a co-worker in helping to do their work?
• Presentation Skills. Are you comfortable speaking in front of group? If asked to prepare a presentation or talk to the management, could you organize your thoughts effectively? Is there a balance between what you say, the data, words and white space?
• Writing Skills. How is your email communication to internal colleagues and external customers? Do you write in a style that is acceptable or is it seen as confrontational or demanding? How well do you prepare summaries for management? Are your ideas clear and to the point?

Feel free to add your criteria via our comments.

Reading time: 3 – 5 minutes

Have you ever felt that your boss, co-worker, friend or spouse just did not understand what you were trying to communicate? Both of you seem to be approaching the problem from two radically different places? You want to chalk it up to them not listening; chances are they just are processing the information much differently than how you prefer to do it.

One of the ways I help to explain why you feel frustrated with some individual communications styles is with the Whole Brain Model. Based on the work of Ned Herrmann, the model is central to explaining the results from receiving a personal Herrmann Brain Dominance Instrument (HBDI) profile.

Often people will try to guess their own or someone’s profile; which is marginally helpful. We are prone to blinders and miss cues. There is no substitute for knowing actual profile results and to work with a certified practitioner who provides accurate interpretation.

Establishing a non-threatening common language is important for everyone trying to understand what is going on with the situation and not the person. The HBDI will relay a person’s preferences for thinking styles. It is possible for someone to have strong preferences in all quadrants, though most the majority of people have strong preferences in two quadrants. When we understand how people think, we can begin to understand how they communicate with another. We can also begin to figure out where common ground exists.

When working with people who struggle with communicating effectively, a trend occurs – individuals who have strong preferences in opposing quadrants (“A” vs. “C” or “B” vs. “D”) have higher levels of difficulty with one another. Why? Individuals who prefer the “A” quadrant are more likely to communicate with facts, data, numbers and logic. They are more likely to want to lively debate an issue, often leaving others feeling personally attacked. The person, who prefers to communicate from the “C” quadrant, tends to go more with their gut feelings, pay attention to how people might perceive their message or seek consensus in a decision. The “A” quadrant will fail to see the logic in their style, believing their approach may be too soft or touchy-feely.

Let’s look at how individuals with strong preferences in the “B” quadrant might begin their conversation. It would be important to know the details, have an agenda (because we know the path or decision) and follow a defined procedure. They shun risky ventures and revel in keeping things in the safe zone. Conversely, someone with a strong preference in the “D” quadrant, is more likely to want to start with the big picture and ignore details, embrace brainstorming to get more ideas (after all there are always lots of options), and ultimately want to throw out what is not working and start all over again.

Think back to a conversation that did not go so well. Looking at the Whole Brain Model, do you find their approach may have been opposite from yours? If so, then either you will have to learn to adjust to their preferences or figure out if one of the other quadrants might be a better place to start your next conversation. With out having any actual results, it might be hit and miss until you figure it out.

Lynn Dessert owns Leadership Breakthrough and is a certified HBDI practitioner,  improving personal communication and influence one-step at a time. Post your thoughts or email me!