This is Kathy Marcus’s final post on job hunting lessons that was first shared at the end of 2012. While the holidays may be behind us, her message is timeless. While careers are important and provide for our families or help to define who we are…there’s always more to your story.

Thank you Kathy for sharing your insights over the last several months – your future employer is lucky to have you!

Day 12:  Remember What Is Important

The holiday season means different things to different people. For some, its meaning lies in faith, for others it’s about family and time spent together and for others still, it’s a time for reflection.

Whatever meaning this time of year has for you, never forget: You are more than your last job. You are someone’s son, daughter, father, mother, brother and sister. You are a friend, a confidant, a coveted volunteer and a respected colleague.

Don’t let a day go by without reminding yourself of this.

And some of the most valuable treasures in life are free:

• Rejoice in the laughter of children
• Embrace your ability to learn something new everyday
• Celebrate the companionship of family and friends
• Take pride in the gift you are to everyone in your life

May the New Year bring you many opportunities to laugh, learn and enjoy the gifts life brings.

We’re almost at the end of Kathy Marcus’s 12 days of insights. Here’s an important lesson reminder about paying it forward to your network because receiving and giving help is what makes the world a better place.

Day 11 – Pay It Forward

When you land after being in transition, it’s a very exciting time – a time for celebration and a time to feel validated once again. All of those days, weeks and months of networking, posting for jobs, interviewing, thank you notes and workshops have finally paid off and you are once again a member of the workforce!

Enjoy this time and focus you energies on succeeding in your new position. As time goes by, however, it is easy for all that you’ve learned through your job search activities to fade into the woodwork.

Don’t let it!

Never forget the challenges you faced trying to figure out how to plan your search and navigate uncharted networking territory.

Never forget the first people who gave you the gift of their time and wisdom. I’ll never forget Deb Mourey, my first contact!

Think of all the knowledge you’ve gained, the tips you can share and the contacts you can introduce to others.

It’s time to pay it forward.

Job seekers are faced with the challenge of trying to meet with people who are employed and who they don’t know. Be their advocate and help pave the way for them as you were once helped.

Educate your employed colleagues about the value of networking so that they are more amenable to meeting someone at Starbucks for 30 minutes before work or passing someone’s resume along. Share tips with your network members, attend an ABCPNG meeting once or twice a month or go to a Digital Rochester event as your schedule allows.

Your presence goes a long way to providing hope and your generosity in sharing knowledge will give job seekers the tools they need to succeed.

Paying it forward will give you a good feeling, give others hope and will help you to continue to grow your network!

Kathy Marcus promised her job hunting group twelve days of insights which is challenging since she started her full-time contract job. However, Kathy knows there are things you should not do if you want people to trust you and in turn help you.

Of course, the last don’t is a promise that Kathy will probably still keep since I asked to her to share her insights with the Elephants at Work readers. It is a reminder that scheduling means assessing all your commitments – no matter what time of year.

Day 10 – The Ugly:  Making promises you can’t keep

• Don’t apply for jobs for which you aren’t qualified.
• Don’t promise connections to another networker then fail to provide the connections.
• Don’t tell yourself that you’ve got plenty of time to look for work just because you have 6 months severance.
• Don’t promise 12 Days of Tips for the Job Seeker during a very busy holiday season!
  

Two more days of tips to go and I’ve got them drafted already but I’m not promising anything!

Job searches stalled by over-inflated egos are one of the biggest challenges that job hunters face today, especially if you were in a managerial or executive position. The change in status – employment and socially – wreaks havoc on the ego and how you deal with it can make a big difference on how quickly you land your next position.

Kathy Marcus shares her insights into why the ego stalls a job search and how to fix it.

Day 9 – The Bad: Letting Your Ego Stall your Job Search

We have been leaders, senior engineers, professors, and top sales and marketing professionals. We’ve had successful careers and now we find ourselves in transition, often with little or no notice.

There might be days where we drive 20 minutes to meet with a recruiter who spends 12 minutes with us. There may be other days where former employees or colleagues respond to our networking invitations with a ‘we’re not hiring’ response.

And finally, there may be times when the hiring manager never follows up to tell us we weren’t the chosen candidate. All of these actions can leave us feeling humiliated, resentful and unmotivated to continue our job search activities.

While employed, we may have been respected, deferred to and had people look to us for direction. We most likely had healthy egos as a result. Now that we are in transition, we need to change our perspective and accept that our role has changed temporarily.

As job seekers, we need to rely on the kindness of strangers and make it easier for them to help us by eliminating any sense of entitlement and accepting that our current role is very different from the ones we held while employed. Only then can we put ourselves out there and attend the workshops, networking events and one-on-one sessions with realistic expectations.

Set realistic expectations for yourself in your new role as job seeker and keep disappointment at bay when you aren’t treated in the same manner as when you were employed.