Reading time: 3 – 4 minutes

Most people understand that anger can become destructive when people choose to act out in a manner which is violent. The fact that anger and violence are both often present in a situation does not automatically mean that the presence of one means the presence of the other.

Anger is a normal and natural emotion which results in a physical reaction to a threat whether real or imagined. When people allow themselves to experience their anger, the feeling is usually short-lived, yet problems occur when anger is seen as something to be avoided, and people suppress their feelings.

Anger is merely an emotion which gives you a choice of how to respond.

Appropriate handling of anger is an interpersonal skill which can be developed. Often we learn how to deal with anger by observing our parents or other significant people when we were young.

• Were you taught to discuss your feelings or stuff them?
• Did you grow up in an environment where anger was a destructive or a healthy emotion?

The problem with handling anger in an inappropriate way is it does nothing to resolve the situation and often makes things worse. Suppressing anger can result in physical illness such as migraines, hypertension, ulcers and even angina.

In addition, suppressing anger can result in you having a nuclear reaction to a firecracker event leaving those around you wondering why you got so upset over such a small incident.

Communication is irreversible and once you say something in anger, you cannot take it back. The paradox is that you are not reacting to the event that just happened but to the build up of scar tissue which has formed because you have not allowed yourself to deal with your anger productively in the past.

The key to dealing with anger in a useful way is to permit yourself to acknowledge the presence of anger and allow yourself to experience the physical sensations that go with it.

In addition, you must express your anger in a manner that meets your needs and the needs of the other people while maintaining respect. Focus on yourself and discuss your reaction to the situation in a manner that will help the other person understand your perception.

Watching the tone of voice you use is imperative because your tone helps the other person determine whether you are for or against them.

Sometimes it may mean taking a break from the situation to help you not respond in a manner which may render resolution impossible.

Another factor is whether the other individual is willing to discuss the circumstances. If they are not ready to work it out you may need to find another way to deal with your emotions.

In these situations, sometimes it is helpful to write your feelings down, and this will help you to vent without stuffing your feelings, or saying something you might regret. In any case, it is important that you find a healthy outlet for your feelings to avoid acting out in a manner which you will regret.

Elizabeth (Beth) A. Spears, PhD owns Workplace Communications, Inc.

Reading time: 3 – 4 minutes

Building trust takes time. We have all heard that statement before, if we break it down, what we are really saying is:

• • How is trust built?
  • Can trust be built more quickly?

Building and Time

When we understand how each of these words impact trust, it is possible to develop trust more quickly with someone – whether it is our colleague, boss, customer, friend or family member.

It is rare that someone gives cart blanch trust from the onset.

When we set out to build trust with someone, it is usually through our actions and words. Each event or experience we have with them increases the level of trust. We test to see if someone is authentic before we give someone the key to our wallet, heart or head.

The other factor is time. Let us face it, some people do not give trust to others for a long time. It might be that they are overly suspicious of people because of a past experience of getting hurt.

There are situations where the time frame to be trusted or give trust is compressed. Think about when you gave or received trust quickly – in fact maybe so quickly your head spun. What was it about that situation that just seemed to make it right?

Here is partial list of ways in which trust can be built and timing might be a factor in being successful. If your example or approach is not listed here, share it below so we can all learn from each other.

1. Listen for understanding first
2. Build consensus
3. Alignment of values
4. Common goals
5. Similar approach to problems
6. Keeping someone in the “loop”
7. Poll your customer for satisfaction
8. React to someone’s situation quickly
9. Communicate clearly
10. Make commitments
11. Set clear expectations
12. Follow through on commitments
13. Cultivate personal relationships
14. Keep in touch frequently (written, electronic, in-person)
15. Figure out what is important to the other person
16. Be responsive
17. Be real/authentic
18. Help someone even if you can’t personally do it
19. Understand the other person’s issues or challenges
20. Be trustworthy
21. Set aside ego
22. Do what is important to the other person rather than what you want to do
23. Be a resource conduit for others
24. Be likable
25. Actively break down barriers to relationships or communication
26. Ask for help, don’t be a know it all
27. Walk the walk
28. Treat people fairly
29. Fess up when you are wrong
30. Recognize contributions

Lynn Dessert owns Leadership Breakthrough, improving personal communication and influence one-step at a time. Post your thoughts or email me!

Reading time: 4 – 7 minutes

Do you find yourself wondering how to be a good leader with the Generation Y workforce? Are the generational differences getting in the way of communicating with one another? If you are experiencing frustration, you can bet they are too!

The discussion of praise came up the other day when I was talking with a colleague. She has children who are in the Gen Y-ers age group and she is a Baby Boomer.

The amount of praise that a Gen Y-er or Millennial requires can be a bit overwhelming. It seems they want to have constant reinforcement for doing something that a Baby Boomer would say is a normal or adequate job. This disconnect between the generations fuels misunderstandings and communication challenges with one another and unless is it is managed successfully; it will drive the younger set to leave your organization.

The big question is, “Where is the balance when working with Gen Y-ers?”

There is some new research that points to how narcissism may play a role in their sense of entitlement. Some call the Gen Y-ers the worse generation, I beg to differ – there is hope.

Let’s be clear, Baby Boomers are not all that innocent. Research places parenting techniques or philosophies as one contributor to cultivating and reinforcing this behavior. The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement by Jean M. Twenge Ph.D. and W. Keith Campbell Ph.D. discuss the cultural shift, its symptoms and possible solutions.

Parents whose emphasis on praise and the avoidance of criticism, corrective action and dealing out consequences may have inadvertently fueled the narcissistic behavior we see today.

Think about the lessons a child learns growing up where differences between skills, abilities and accomplishments are downplayed for fear of hurting someone’s feelings. It was better or easier to avoid the winner vs. loser or right vs. wrong discussion. One overused example cites how competitive organizations award each person a trophy for participation – let’s forget about acknowledging those who work hard and excel.

What lessons are we teaching? Are there some other ways to make people feel good? Will people be ready for the harsh reality that things are not always fair?

Organizations typically have some sort of hierarchical structure. Even in the flattest structures, there are differences in roles, responsibilities and accountability. It is essential that employees know what they can do well and often those lessons are realized in the trial and error of attempting new things. Should we be embracing that failing is OK and how to redirect energy to the things that you are passionate about?

Gen Y-ers tend to want to move up quickly or at the very least be recognized on an equal basis as their peers – even when they fall short. If they lack the ability to critique themselves accurately and accept constructive criticism, the chasm will only deepen with their manager. Maybe this is why Gen Y-ers get bored or restless so quickly – they think they already have it when they don’t.

Not all Gen Y-ers are narcissistic. Their cry for praise may be well deserved.

Dolling out praise is often uncomfortable for Baby Boomers. It does not come naturally and often is only seen as deserving when something exceptional is done by the employee.

When you increase the level and frequency of praise and recognition, it benefits the employee, team and organization. But, dolling out praise too much is not good either.

If we lose the ability to differentiate between what is unacceptable, mediocre, average, very good or outstanding – we will lose in the business world and ultimately in making solid life choices. So how does a manager find the right balance?

There are a couple of ways to approach this situation – bottom line is you have to open the lines of communication with one another. When there is a common understanding on the approach and execution of praise – your employee’s level of satisfaction and productivity will increase tenfold.

What a manager can do

1. Develop a matrix that identifies the kinds of situations where praise is and where it is not beneficial to both parties. Discuss the matrix with one another at a time when emotions and feelings are calm. Make adjustments as necessary. Gain commitment with both parties and hold each other accountable.
2. Commission a committee to do #1. Set boundaries and let them develop a strategy and implementation plan.

Gen Y-ers will appreciate being a part of the solution. In the course of finding the best solution for your organization, you will learn what motivates them.

Lynn Dessert owns Leadership Breakthrough, improving personal communication and influence one-step at a time. Post your thoughts or email me!

Reading time: 4 – 6 minutes

How are you about enforcing and following rules with the people who work for you? Do they listen to you or respect you for toeing the line with them?

A word of caution -  they may be testing you and if you are not careful – what is brewing underneath the surface may come back to bite you.

It happens every day. Employees recognize there are written rules, but the real rules are the silent ones. It might be called “the code” or think of it as the real way things work around here.

The subculture holds a lot of power. Ignoring it can be a big mistake.

Managers walking into a new situation are often susceptible to this trap. Jessica is a store manager who has been with the company for several years.

She is known as a company girl. In her role, she believes that enforcing the rules will be seen as a positive trait with her superiors.

It is common that managers move every couple of years to a new store location. One of the reasons managers move is for their personal development – to get experiences with new people and situations.

Conversely, if a store is having trouble, senior management might send someone in to straighten out a dysfunctional team.

Sometimes the manager gets marching orders such as: instill some discipline and do it immediately. The expectation is that coming in strong will miraculously change what is wrong.

At first, Jessica thinks she is being successful with her team by providing rules and tight boundaries. In truth, the employees are testing how far they can push her. They want to know how she will react in different situations such as:

• Following procedures
• Using the chain of command
• Discipline
• Adhering to the employee handbook
• Handling conflict
• Playing favorites
• Espousing corporate policies
• Making exceptions
• Keeping her cool
• Having personal relationships
• Keeping promises
• Holding confidences

Once the group figures out where her “hot” buttons (things that set someone off quickly) are they can manipulate Jessica more effectively.

The fatal flaw Jessica makes is assuming that every store or team has the same culture. The parent company’s rules and philosophies are not enough to create a common culture in different locations.

Not knowing the unwritten rules got in the way of her being effective within this organization.

So how can you be more successful when you go into a new organization?

Avoid being the hard-ass or enforcer – at least initially. This is an effective strategic diversion tactic. People will not open up to someone who is seen as inflexible. Sometimes it better not to let people figure you out so quickly – it also minimizes exposing your hot buttons. Use this time to take notes about what kind of behavior trends you see in individuals or small groups.

Don’t be afraid to take action. You do not want to be seen as wimp. If someone does something that is illegal or demands an immediate discharge take decisive action.

Ask yourself if the action you are taking is a fighting an inconsequential battle or integral to the long term success of the organization. Ultimately, you want to win the war and that requires a better understanding of the culture.

Listen and observe. Ask questions rather then tell people what to do. Concentrate on why the behavior exists vs. trying to fix it right away. Understand why they do what they do and how they resolve problems they face at work. Figure out what is important and what is a priority for them.

Learn about the unwritten rules. This is the code we talked about earlier. The unspoken rules may be driven by the employees or management and are probably different from the corporate policies.

You may get lucky and find someone who shares them with you. If not, rely on the listen and observe approach to figure what the practices are in the organization.

Find the root cause. Is the behavior systemic or random? Is one person causing the problems or do cliques control more than they should in the organization?

Make a plan. Once you figure out 1) what the unwritten rules are 2) why the rules exist 3) who is involved and 4) how the rules affect the organization, you are in a position to make a plan.

Just remember – battles are quickly forgotten and winning over the organization carries long term results.

Lynn Dessert owns Leadership Breakthrough, improving personal communication and influence one-step at a time. Post your thoughts or email me!

Reading time: 3 – 4 minutes

It is easy to jump to conclusions when you do not know people. We do it every day at work or in our personal relationships.

We think we have an agreement with someone and then for some reason they seem to be slacking or not keeping up with what you thought were their commitments. Pretty soon, you find yourself jumping to conclusions, which may have merit or could be totally off base.

Recently, I decided to get a puppy. It has been two and half years since I put my first dog Dryfus down. He had suffered his second stroke and it was time. I still have a girl, she is almost 13 and is in good health, yet her time will come only too soon.

I had been researching breeders for several years. I knew I wanted a Havanese; that decision was made before Dryfus left me.

Little Guy - one week old

After visiting several breeders, I finally found one where the timing was right; she came with personal recommendations.

There are two litters – one and two weeks old. I had my pick of the litters and settled in on this “Little Guy” – a Chocolate Irish Pied, yet to be named. That was four weeks ago.

As you can imagine, I am invested and eager to learn about him every week. I look forward to the weekly pictures which she sends out on Mondays.

On the third week, I did not get a picture on Monday. As an expectant mother, I am getting antsy. Finally on Wednesday it shows up.

The following week I decide to give my breeder a nudge and send her an email letting her know that I really enjoy seeing my “Little Guy’s” progress and to ask some questions about the paperwork I owe her.

Tuesday goes by. Wednesday begins to fade and late that evening I get his new picture, yet none of my questions are answered. My breeder writes that her mother is in ICU and her life has been upside down.

There is a delicate balance of keeping commitments and dealing with real life issues. As hard as it might be, letting people (even people who are not close to you) know if something significant is happening lets others understand why commitments may not be met or will be delayed.

5 weeks - who's counting?

Do I miss the Monday morning picture? Sure, I do.

What is more important to me is that the puppy is getting the right attention in the midst of the breeder’s chaos. As much as I would like to know some answers, they are truly insignificant to what my breeder is trying to manage in her life.

It is tough to give people space. We live in the “I want it now or yesterday” world. Some things just have to wait.

This week, I got my picture on Monday – back to the normal schedule.

The note from her says that her mother passed away and times are very hard.  She will get the paperwork to me the next day.

If she’s late – who cares. It’s only paperwork.

Lynn Dessert owns Leadership Breakthrough, improving personal communication and influence one-step at a time. Post your thoughts or email me!

Reading time: 3 – 4 minutes

Employee recognition is not just a nice thing to do for people, it is important for the success of your organization.

According to the University of Washington, “Many studies on the work place have shown that being recognized for achievements, knowing that one’s contributions matter to the organization, and the opportunity for growth and professional development have a considerable impact on employee satisfaction and commitment.”

Make Their Day! Employee Recognition That Works

According to Cindy Ventrice, author of Make Their Day! Employee Recognition That Works, “Regardless of the economy, you need to keep your best people and keep them engaged. The best way to do this is by developing a culture based on meaningful recognition. Did you know that the companies that attract and keep great employees typically have over 70 percent employee satisfaction with employee recognition?”

Recognition needs to be in line with behavior and accomplishments and must be meaningful, yet does not need to be expensive or time consuming. A simple thank you or a note of appreciation can go a long way to help employees feel valued.

The recognition must supply the employee with specific information about what behaviors or actions are being rewarded, and should occur as close to the behavior as possible. Although employees would love to hear “good job,” it will be more helpful if you spell out the behaviors that made it a good job. When you recognize employees effectively, you reinforce the behavior you want them to repeat.

Lauren Dixon, CEO of Dixon Schwabl stated she listens to what is important to her employees then when she comes across something she thinks would be of interest to them, she copies it and puts it on their desk with a note.

Often employees will come back to her and say, “How did you know I liked fly fishing?” because they forgot they told her. This does a number of things. The person feels valued as an individual and also heard.

The Great Places to Work that I have interviewed have interesting ways to recognize their employees.

Nixon-Peabody has formal as well as impromptu recognition methods, such as “The Above and Beyond Award” and “On the Spot” recognition.

Paychex has an employee recognition committee which rewards efforts with balloons with candy or gift card attached and an quarterly meeting in which teams are recognized with a huge banner with all the team member’s names on it.

Another opportunity to recognize employees by Dixon-Schwabl is done where the last minutes of the weekly organization-wide meeting is saved so employees can recognize other employees.

Ask yourself, when was the last time you recognized an employees or coworkers for something they have done well.

Ventrice, C., Employee Recognition that Works, www.maketheirday.com Used with permission

Elizabeth (Beth) A. Spears, PhD owns Workplace Communications, Inc.

Reading time: 5 – 8 minutes

The excitement of being an entrepreneur…and the self-doubt of can I do it. It is easy to second guess ourselves. It takes more than an idea.

Today, Bob Lurz and I were at RochesterWorks to present “what it means to be a consultant” and to let the group know that the Rochester Professional Consultant’s Network (RPCN) is a place to 1) network, 2) learn and 3) find support.

The room is filled with about twenty people who are currently on the job market. Their choices are to find employment with a company or think about starting their own company.

We introduce ourselves and ask them to tell us who they are and what kind of business they are thinking of starting up.

The diversity of experience is amazing. The range of ideas we listen to include: retail store, digital imaging, gardening & landscaping, clothing store, regulatory affairs, digital video, fashion clothing line, music company, horse farm, administrative services and project management.

Bob shares the two things that are key qualities of a successful consultant: building relationships and trust.

It’s time to ask them what their greatest fear is in starting a business. Immediately, there are hands in the air. The list comes easily:

SWOT Analysis

Branding

It is important to ask “what sets me apart from my competition?” Do the research on your competitors. Conduct a SWOT analysis on your business and your competitors. SWOT stands for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats.

Use this information to elevate yourself from the competition. There is no reason to “bad mouth” them.  Talking your competition down will decrease your customer or client’s trust in you.

Know what your “niche” is and help people to equate you to this area of expertise. When someone has a problem, they want to find the expert, not the generalist to solve it.

If you are master of everything, no one will remember you for the one thing you really want to do.

Marketing

How do I get the message out? Visibility is important. The key ways consultants find customer/clients is through networking, speaking, writing and having a web site presence.

I share a story about when I started my first business ten years ago. I went on three marketing trips to visit people I had worked with in previous companies.

My purpose was not to “get work”. It was to ask for feedback on my business plan and to raise awareness of my intent to work independently as a consultant.

Mike asked if I had a website. I did not. He told me that was a glaring omission. I listened to him.

Two years later, I landed a major client from my website because the company was looking for a certified HBDI practitioner and trainer to do sessions in their leadership development program.

If it was important then, it is essential now.

Networking

“It is not my strength, is it necessary?” someone asks. Networking is at the crux of building relationships. It can be done virtually or in person. LinkedIn and this blog gives me access to people outside of Rochester, NY (that’s important if your business is global).

Networking is about the other person, not about you. When someone approaches you about what they do first, how receptive are you to them?

Overwhelmingly, the response from the group is “not at all”. There is a low degree of trustworthiness. 

Consider the quality of your network over how big your network is.

Value proposition

Can I sell my services for what I think I am worth? There are buyers at all price levels for similar services or products.

As an example, a car’s basic function is transportation. The range we are willing to pay for a car may vary because of brand, extras, service or any number of differentiations.

The gardener who doubts that someone will pay $25/hr. for her work simply has to show why someone wants to her to do the work and market it to the people who can afford it.

Would a website showing before and after pictures be an effective way to display her quality of work? If your clients talk about how they feel about their new gardens or the pride of ownership, will that inspire others to contact you?

When we tap into the emotional part of a decision, we can influence our buyer to act more quickly. Think about how you can engage their heart, soul and mind.

It ties back to Relationships & Trust

Our relationships with our colleagues, clients or customers are built on trust. If they trust us, they will pay more if we can provide what they need.

They know they can count on us to be there or to back up our product or services. They know they will be treated fairly.

If trust is absent, it will not matter how inexpensive you are – the business will go to the competition and someone they trust.

I hope to see some of you at a future RPCN meeting.

Lynn Dessert owns Leadership Breakthrough, improving personal communication and influence one-step at a time. Post your thoughts or email me!

Reading time: 3 – 5 minutes

One of the most powerful opportunities for any leader to build trust is to publicly admit mistakes.

The source of that power is that it is so rare for leaders to stand up in front of a group and say something like this:

“I called you here today to admit that I made a serious blunder yesterday. It was not intentional, as I will explain. Nevertheless, I failed to do the best thing for our group. I sincerely apologize for this and call on all of us to help mend the damage quickly. Without being defensive, let me just explain what happened…”

If you were in the audience listening to this leader, how would you react? Chances are your esteem for the leader would be enhanced, simply by the straightforward approach and honesty of the statements. Of course, it does depend on the nature of the mistake. Here are a few situations where an admission of a mistake would not produce higher trust:

• If the blunder was out of sheer stupidity.
• If this was the third time the leader had done essentially the same thing.
• If the leader is prone to making mistakes due to shooting before aiming.
• If the leader simply failed to get information that he should have had.
• If the leader was appeasing higher-ups inappropriately.

Assuming none of the above conditions is present and the mistake is an honest one, admitting it publicly is often the best strategy. There is an interesting twist to this approach that has often baffled me.

Let’s suppose that I have gathered 100 leaders into a room and asked them to answer the following question: “If you had made a mistake, which of the following two actions would have the greater chance of increasing the level of respect people have for you?

(A) You call people together, admit your mistake, apologize, and ask people to help you correct the problem.

(B) You try to avoid the issue, blame the problem on someone else, downplay the significance, pretend it did not happen, or otherwise attempt to weasel out of responsibility.”

Given those two choices, I am confident that at least 99 out of the 100 leaders would say action (A) has a much greater probability of increasing respect.

The reason I am confident is that I have run that experiment dozens of times when working with leaders in groups.

The irony is that when an error is subsequently made, roughly 80% of the same leaders choose action more consistent with choice (B).

The real conundrum is that if you were to tap the leader on the shoulder at that time and ask him why he chose (B) over (A), he would most likely say, “I did not want to admit my mistake because I was afraid people would lose respect for me.”

This situation illustrates that in the classroom, all leaders know how to improve respect and trust, but many of them tend to not use that knowledge when there is an opportunity to apply it in the field. It seems illogical.

Perhaps in the heat of the moment, leaders lose their perspective to the degree that they will knowingly do things that take them in the opposite direction from where they want to go.

I believe it is because they are ashamed of making a mistake, but when you admit an error, it has an incredibly positive impact on trust because it is unexpected. Perhaps this is one of the differences between IQ and Emotional Intelligence.

Intellectually, they know the best route to improve trust, but emotionally they are not mature or confident enough to take the risk. When you admit an error, it has a positive impact on trust because it is unexpected.

As Warren Bennis in Old Dogs: New Tricks noted, “All the successful leaders I’ve met learned to embrace error and to learn from it.”

Robert T. Whipple is the CEO of Leadergrow Inc., a teaching and consulting company.

Reading time: 4 – 6 minutes

Do you wonder why people decide to join a professional organization or leave one? One group I belong to is having an ensuing battle over a topic in yahoo groups. Someone says they want to leave because they are not getting what they want out of the organization.

It started out with asking questions and giving constructive feedback to the general membership. The topic really doesn't matter; how things are being said does matter.

If you were to ask people individually if there was a battle, there would not be a consensus. One person might think they are just stating an opinion, another would say they are trying to get everyone to "get along" and others who chime in found their comments dissected. Now you probably understand why I call it a battle. 

It is hard to write a response to a hot topic effectively, especially if people do not know you. We all quirks – it might be using certain words or phrases that could be misconstrued.

If you are talking to someone in person, you can see how the other person is reacting to your words and make a correction or clarification – because we all think and communicate differently.

Even if you throw out the caveat that you may say things "tongue in cheek" or that you are seen as a "trouble maker" or you do not "sugar coat" things, you run the risk of being misunderstood.

Here are a few ways you can help to create a more inclusive and healthy conversation – whether it is written or oral:

1. People get caught up quickly in the blame game and get defensive instead of responsive. If the tone of your message is about how everything is wrong, learn how to finesse your message without sounding like a know it all. The best technique is to ask questions that lead people to rethink their position. Does it take longer? Yes – and you will have more followers in the long run.
2. Forget about telling people what they need to do. When you tell them they need to do something, they rebel. Suggest why someone might want to do something differently.
3. The excuse of I am not "in the know" is a cop out. If you want to know something, it means getting involved and making an investment to learn what you do not know.
4. Avoid the perception that your time or intellect is better than everyone else. I am too busy or someone else or something matters more sends the message you do not care. If you don't care, they don't care.
5. Take the words "we/you should" out of the conversation. Talk about what you are willing to do. "We/you should" implies someone else has to change or do something. It is more relevant what you are going to do to make it better. If you take personal accountability, change will happen more quickly.
6. Being the mouthpiece is not a good role. If people do not have the courage to speak up, the message was not that important.
7. Listen to and consider alternatives.  If you are stuck thinking there is only one solution, guess what – there is only one solution. It is easy to list all the reasons why "you can't". Think about the things "you can" do that others "can do" too. Yes, I am talking about collaboration, not compromise.
8. Don't be the martyr. People will question intent when someone plays this card.
9. If your conversations continually end with negative results – it's time to look at yourself. When someone comes to me and says they had another one of those situations, I ask them: "What is the common denominator?" There is usually only one answer. Take a step back and picture how you can get your point across more effectively and have a positive outcome. If you do not know how, get some help figuring it out.

Lynn Dessert owns Leadership Breakthrough, improving personal communication and influence one-step at a time. Post your thoughts or email me!

Reading time: 5 – 8 minutes

A colleague wrote me a question that I think many people are facing in today's world of technology: the disappearing receptionist. You want to contact someone, but how?

He writes: How does one find the names of those responsible for a function when corporations increasingly have no switchboard just a telephone tree that responds only to names? I know I can search it on Linked In but only useful if the person is in my network.

I share your frustration. Just today, I spent a half hour trying to contact eBay about a problem I was having with a seller. Mind you, I sell on eBay too so I am pretty familiar with the website.

It is a constant struggle to find a phone number for customer service – that's right I do not even need a name, just a department. When I finally get to a phone number after going through their maze of questions and answers that do not fit my situation, I am already in a bad mood.

OK, I am done with my rant, now on to your problem and hopefully a solution.

Using LinkedIn

There are a number of things you can do to boost access to people on LinkedIn – for free. All you need is a basic account and if you upgrade you can search more profiles at one time. Use the search criteria carefully and the 300 profiles they give you may be enough under the basic service.

The rule of thumb is, the more direct connections you have on LinkedIn, the greater your network reach or the number of people you have access to on the site.

If you want to expand your network professionally, read some tips here and here.

From any page inside your LinkedIn account, select the People tab in the upper right hand corner and click the magnifying glass icon. On this next page, search and filter by the following attributes:

• Search by key word, name, title, company, school and location
• Location – based on my connections, my reach within the US alone is 463,927 people and my world-wide access is 858,994 people
• Relationship (see how my numbers multiply quickly below)
  • First degree connections (372)
  • 2nd degree Connections (73822)
  • Group Members (805,841)
  • There is no access to All Linkedin Members on this page – the advanced feature below might be helpful
• Industry
• Current Company
• Past Company
• School
• Groups – read more on how groups help you below
• Profile Language
• When Joined

The Advanced People tab will let you search all LinkedIn members by using key words, name, location, title, company and school.

The Company tab is a newer feature. You can follow a company to find people who reside somewhere in your network (you can follow my company by clicking Follow Company on the left hand side of the page). The company page highlights:

• which current employees are in your network
• new hires
• former employees
• recent promotions and changes
• who has the most popular profile

Groups is one of the best kept secrets. Join groups and you have access to the people in the group. You can send them a message for free because you are a member.

Your membership in a group also increases your network size and helps to provide more results in People Search or Advanced People Search. Join the ones that are relevant to the industries or professional disciplines you have an interest in getting to know better.

If you are still looking for more ways to use LinkedIn, here is a list of 100+ Ways to Use LinkedIn.

Other Methods

Another alternative is to consider the approach recruiters use. Organizational charts are extremely useful when you want to find someone in a company. You can contact the person who reports to them or the position or someone one in a similar department who may help you.

Companies do not like their organization charts floating out in the public for many reasons, if you get a hold of one, keep it. The jury is out if people or organizational structure changes more – in either case, you have a starting point to penetrate who to find where.

A colleague of mine uses the Public Library to search for the people he wants to find. If you are looking for individuals or roles of people who are listed in company records, do a search on the industry (SEC code) and you may find more data than you can handle. He has accumulated over 10,000 records on CEOs in his industry. It might be labor intensive  – now you know why databases are valuable.

Join professional organizations whose members are the people you want to meet or talk with by phone. Most organizations have member directories that are available for purchase or they may be online for free. They do not condone solicitation; however, if you refine your approach the other person may welcome your call.

If you have an innovative way to find someone, leave a comment so that we can all learn from one another.

Lynn Dessert owns Leadership Breakthrough, improving personal communication and influence one-step at a time. Post your thoughts or email me!