Reading time: 4 – 6 minutes

How often do you create a diversion when you are at work? It may be more often than you think. The art of diverting a question or decision can be a useful tactic, if done well.

Sometimes the diversion is permanent; other times, it buys you time to think through your strategy more carefully. Robert Greene, author of the The 48 Laws of Power shares:

Law #3: Conceal Your Intentions

Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. If they have no clue what you are up to, they cannot prepare a defense. Guide them far enough down the wrong path, envelop them in enough smoke, and by the time they realize your intentions it will be too late.

There are two ways Greene suggests creating diversions by using decoys or red herrings and smoke screens.

Decoys or Red Herrings

Negotiations are good places to find decoys. Here is an example: Let us assume that you have an offer for a position out of state. Before accepting the position, some of the financial details are still unresolved to your satisfaction.

Your goal is to optimize the right combination of base pay, bonus, benefits and relocation costs, given your personal situation.

The company is not aware that their initial base pay offer represents 20% more than what you are making today. Your main concern is the cost of relocation since you are living in a depressed real estate market.

The company’s offer is to move your household goods only, leaving you responsible for selling and purchasing a new home. The financial burden of relocation reduces the likelihood of your acceptance. What do you do? Walk away or use another strategy?

The straight shooter might put all their cards on the table, letting the company know what they want. If the company is holding the line on cost containment, they maybe firm in their position. Creating a decoy might help you get what you want.

When two parties are trying to find an agreement, knowing what the other party values will give you the upper hand.

Diversion

“Manipulation” is the word that comes to a colleague’s mind when I talk about diversion. I ask him to describe it. His response is someone that does not demonstrate good teamwork or playing fair with others.

While at face value, you may believe manipulation is a bad behavior, it is an integral part of diversion. Let us look at a few examples.

Politicians. In my opinion, I often do not know where they stand on things. Discussions are vague, often lacking detail and substance. Grey areas are welcome. Hot seats are avoided.

People in General. It can be frustrating to talk to someone that masks how he or she really feels about a topic. I am not talking about being a people pleaser. Fundamentally, it is more about making a decision not to share their point of view…for whatever reason.

My Colleague. He does not believe he uses manipulation or diversion to his advantage. As we get further into the discussion, it becomes obvious – he is not exempt.

If there is a problem to be solved and someone wants his advice, there are times he is not ready to share his perspective. For whatever reason – he may not know the person or he believes they may judge his opinion. His smooth avoidance response is, “I can appreciate the problem.” How can anyone argue with that statement?

Co-Worker. I think back to a business colleague of mine who, at the time, I questioned how he got to the level he was in the organization. People would approach him to ask a question. Sometimes the answer was evasive, or he would answer an entirely different question. His eye contact would shift to the side and his body language loudly told you “you’ve asked me a question I don’t want to answer.”

I find it remarkable that these people are often the survivors, most likely an outcome of using their diversion power effectively. How well do you do?

Lynn Dessert owns Leadership Breakthrough, improving personal communication and influence one-step at a time. Post your thoughts or email me!

Reading time: 4 – 6 minutes

Friend or foe, which is a better choice for someone on your team? It might be your foe according to Robert Greene who wrote The 48 Laws of Power.

Law 2: Never put too much trust in friends, learn how to use enemies

Be wary of friends – they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.

Robert Greene

Sometimes, there is a reason why people keep friendships and work separate. How well do you think you know your friend? It is kind of odd, but I find people are more willing to share their inner most secrets or insecurities with strangers than their friend – especially when it may be something used against them. There seems to be comfort in placing some distance with between you and your friends.

Let’s take this example. A friend comes to you for a favor. A position opens up at your office and they ask for your recommendation and support. When you first think about the situation, you believe it could be very beneficial for you to hire them. To gain an ally on your team will strengthen your position of power in the company, especially in a swing vote decision. There is one small problem – your friend is less qualified for the job than someone internally. Should you hire your friend – after all, they will cover your back. Is that more important?

You decide to hire your friend and they mess up at work. How quickly do you take action? What is the approach you take with your friend – is it the same as a colleague? You discuss the situation with them. Does your friend play the “friend card”? Do you feel guilty?

If you decide to soft peddle your approach, do you think your friend realizes the impact of their actions. Is it possible your friend believes they have skirted the issue because you are watching out for them? And what do you do when there is a repeat performance? Does that put you in a more difficult position?

Your lack of forthrightness may work to your disadvantage. It is tough to deliver negative feedback to a friend. You may think your relationship with them outside of work might falter. If another situation arises, the tendency will be to swing the pendulum to either side – more lenient or taking the big hammer approach to solve the problem. In either scenario, your friend is likely to lose loyalty with you. As you become more lenient, your friend may believe they have more rights, which can lead to perceived favoritism. Your staff will become resentful. If the approach is more punitive, they will question why they have lost your support and may retract it with you.

It seems like a lot of things to think about.

In the second situation, the internal person applying to the position is one of your nemeses. You have butt heads with them a number of times on projects. They have the qualifications for the position and you wonder why they would consider working for you. It is not obvious to you to take them on as an employee. Here are some reasons to ponder:

1. Giving someone a chance to someone who is the underdog often brings out the “I’ll show them I am the best person” attitude. That’s a win-win for the employee and manager.
2. You are more likely to get candid feedback from your foe than your friend. The threat of damaging a personal relationship is not an issue.
3. Your foe will appreciate your support more than your friend. The friend expects it, the foe respects gaining it.
4. Skills will outperform “watching the bosses back” over time.
5. The sweetest victory is winning over an enemy.

So, is it impossible to have your friend on your team? I believe it is possible, just not probable. It requires a fundamental understanding of the differences and balances of power in the relationship – in and outside of work. That separation is difficult to manage effectively and takes tremendous effort and energy to be successful. Most bosses have too many other things to focus on than to preserve a friendship while making difficult decisions at work. What are your experiences?

Lynn Dessert owns Leadership Breakthrough, improving personal communication and influence one step at a time. Post your thoughts or email me!

Reading time: 4 – 6 minutes

Power is not the root of all evil. There are many lessons from history which help us to understand human nature better and how it works to our benefit. Some might call it manipulation; others may see it as perfecting the art of persuasion. It really is just about personal power.

The 48 Laws of Power

The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene is a book that outlines 48 lessons we can learn from history about how power plays out either favorably or unfavorably. Sometimes the actions we take deliver unintended consequences.

Over the next few months, I will share his 48 lessons with you; hopefully you may find some insight into how to work more effectively with your boss or organization. I would love to hear if you agree or disagree with his philosophy.

Employees often feel they must be the shining star to deserve a promotion. Or it might just be the ticket to the other direction- down to the basement. Greene shares a few stories from history where people aspire to move up, only to find themselves in jail. Why? Because they pose a threat to their leader.

In one case, the finance minster believes they will receive the promotion to prime minister after the prime minister dies. The King however, decided to eliminate the position. Not too unlike what may happen in your organization. The prime minister became wary and decided to throw a lavish party, honoring the King. He believed all this attention would please the King. The prime minister invites influential people, brings in the best caterers to host the event at his newly renovated Chateau. It backfires. The King finds a reason to throw him jail. The King did not feel appreciation, he feels insecure.

Think about the last time you may have meant to do something for you boss and it backfired. What could you have done differently?

Law 1

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.

Green says, “Everyone has insecurities.” There are two truths he focuses in on which often play out in organizations. I would suggest this holds especially true in highly political organizations.

Just being yourself may in fact be enough to create insecurity.

There are bosses out there who are insecure no matter what you do.

Greene suggests discreet flattery as the most powerful approach to stay in the good graces of your boss. Outshining your boss creates situations where the boss may look for reasons to get you out of their organization rather than support your upward climb. No one wants to be appear dumber than the people they manage.

Include your boss as part of the solution, even if you did the idea or work. A dose of humility can go a long way.

What happens if your boss is falling out of favor with the organization? One of two situations will like be occurring: their influence is gradually eroding or it could be in a free fall. Different situations often warrant different approaches.

In a gradual decline, there may be ample opportunity to show your talents at pivotal times, whereas if their departure is eminent, it might be best to let it happen on its own course. You don’t want the organization thinking you were the last one kicking the boss as they walk out the door.

Lynn Dessert owns Leadership Breakthrough, improving personal communication and influence one step at a time. Post your thoughts or email me!