What to Do When Your Self Confidence is Shaken

Has your personal or self-confidence been shaken lately?  We’ll discuss what happens when your personal self-confidence is tested and how to go about overcoming it.

Why Self-Confidence is Shaken

There will be times when your personal self-confidence is tested, especially when facing a new challenge, job, or relationship. If you are feeling low self-confidence, can you pinpoint what is causing it?

In each of these situations, the reason your personal self-confidence is shaken is because the stakes are higher – the risk of losing something or not gaining what you want is so important to you – that it may paralyze you.

When you avoid taking action because you fear the unknown, you create your self-filling prophecy and invariably fall short or fail to meet your goal. Think about it, how many times have you sabotaged what you want – all because you gave up or did something to mess up your chances of fulfilling your dream?

What is Causing Your Self-Confidence to Plummet?

So, if you want to change your outcome, it is time to take a close look at what you are doing that causes your personal self-confidence to be shaken.

If you are not sure what is causing your self-confidence to plummet, ask yourself these questions:

  • What is it about the situation that is causing you to be unsure of yourself?
  • Is the environment or situation different?
  • Are you missing the technical skills to be successful?
  • Are your personal skills affecting your outcome?
  • Are there too many “unknowns” and you lack control?
  • Do you have a clear path on how to approach or go ahead?
  • Are you being realistic?
  • Are you looking for perfection?

Recognizing what causes you to lose self-confidence helps you change your situation and how you feel about it.

Once you figure out what is causing your self-confidence to plummet, the next step is to develop a plan to overcome those obstacles.

Developing Your Own Self-Confidence Plan

Your plan should address the specific cause of your self-confidence issue. Be sure to identify the current state of your situation and think about what your goals are for change. Once you know your beginning and end state, you can develop the steps to get there.

Your individual plan may require significant changes in your approach to situations or people. Don’t attempt to make radical changes that you cannot sustain. It is better to take “baby steps” and be successful with each new attempt at modeling new behavior.

Do things that your colleagues, friends or family will notice and compliment you on – it will help to increase you self-confidence. Remember, one step at a time.

About Lynn Dessert (415 Posts)

Lynn Dessert is an ICF trained certified NLP Coach specializing in Executive, Career and Life coaching based in Rochester, N.Y. She works with individuals and organizations to maximize personal effectiveness skills—a cornerstone to career advancement. Lynn is the author of What To Do After Being Fired and The Secerts to Successful Job On-Boarding. Start your discovery process by contacting her at 585.249.5149 today.


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