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Question: I am really upset with my boss. I recently asked him to help me solve a problem I was having with another employee. I now have the person more mad at me. I am not sure 
what he said to them, but I am getting tired of getting dirty looks from her. She also ignores me in front other people. What do I do now?
Jaime S.
Answer: It is unfortunate that your boss may have made the situation worse, rather than better. There are times when conflict occurs in the workplace. Facing conflict head on and creating a win-win solution takes skill on the part of the boss. Many of them have not had training in how to do this effectively.
Wimpy bosses often take the side of the person they are talking with at the time of the conversation. When they talk with you, they sympathize, when they talk with the other person, they may downplay the irritation.
Ultimately, they don’t want to deal with solving the situation, because it is easier for them to try and smooth it over. The trouble is that neither side sees resolution, and the problem can fester – often showing signs of resentment as you are seeing now with the other person.
Now comes the hard part. It is time to talk to your boss again. Ask him to help by having all three of you come together to discuss the situation. Ask him what his role is in the meeting. Will he be a mediator, a facilitator or be the boss who is a decision maker?
Knowing how he will approach the situation will help you figure out how to share the facts and what kind of resolution to ask for. If the thought of having this meeting is overwhelming to him, request he seek help from someone else in the organization to solve the situation.
Article by Lynn Dessert
Lynn Dessert is an executive coach and training expert on cognitive development and personal effectiveness - facilitating behavior change for individuals and teams. Clients consult her to design and deliver HBDI leadership development programs and career minded individuals engage her for personal development. Lynn is the author of Elephants at Work and owner of Leadership Breakthrough, Inc. specializing in Executive, Leadership and Career Development. Start your discovery process by contacting her at 585.249.5149 today.
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